The Paragodox

3rd August 2011

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Numb

It started with a passion like never before
A heart once broken, allowed to soar
Laying beneath the stars, all felt right
No end to this wonder could ever be in sight
The kiss came from nowhere
Perfect and true
The pieces were picked up
You were the real you

The enemy emerges
Formidable and fierce
The mended, once broken heart
He slowly begins to pierce
Laughter becomes shouting
Comfort becomes fear
The foundation begins to crumble
The inevitable becomes clear

An all the while in the background the enemy grins
Your perfect plans are ruined, it’s all coming to an end
Passion is eroding
Apathy sets in
The enemy is decoding
Your inner soul again
And suddenly it becomes clear
Mind-blowingly true
The nemesis
The destroyer
The heartbreaker

Is you.

Tagged: dead enemy love numb poetry sad art writing

27th March 2011

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The Background

The dreams I made still have you in them, because you come swimming into view, and I hang onto your words like I always used to do, the words you used so lightly, I only feel for you, I only know because I carry you around…in the background.

Because I felt you long after we were through.

<3 3EB

Tagged: Third Eye Blind Music Art Lyrics Song Love Sadness Pain Beautiful Background Alternative Rock Rock Stephen Jenkins

Source: pxleyes.com

18th March 2011

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Love

I used to believe in love.
I used to believe that the one you loved was someone you shared a soul with. Someone you knew felt exactly as you felt. Someone who took you as you were, no matter what. I used to believe that there really was only one person for everyone, and that you had to go through a lot before finding them. This included pain and failure. In the end, living in this desolate and random world would all be worth it because you had the ONE and ONLY person who was made for you, who defined your existence…the one person you lived for, and the person who lived for you. Love was really the only thing worth living for. Nothing mattered without love.
But…like anything worth having in this world, love is impossible. The prospect of finding someone who mirrors your desires and fulfills your needs in every way possible is hopeless. Literally. You will inevitably find fault with anyone you end up with and you will then fall into justifying why you deal with certain less desirable aspects of who they are. The intellectual, hilarious girl is actually a psycho pathological liar with low self esteem. The calm, collected, dependable girl provides TOO MUCH predictability and thus leads you to become bored. The pursuit of love is what I believe to be a man-made time waster, spicing up the now predictable process of human life.
But that’s just it, isn’t it? The only people who know what love is are those who have felt it. Love is not defined. You can only know it and not describe its feeling. The old couple married for 50 years looking into each other’s eyes feels it. But they can’t explain it. One can only imagine what love feels like until one’s experienced it. Adults these days seem to fall into two categories: Those who fake their love and those who gave up on it a long time ago. But there are those rare exceptions of people who seem to really be happy together.In this human world which prides itself on cold calculation and what can be known…love is paradoxically the source of the truest form of happiness for many: It has no price…It can’t be measured…There is no formula to attain it…You can’t learn it…You probably don’t get any better at it with practice…It just “is.” And for many, that idea is a bit daunting. We humans want answers. If you can’t get it easily, fuck it. It isn’t worth it and doesn’t exist.
Perhaps though, this is why love is so powerful. It violates our very human instincts and ensnares us in a way that cannot be explained. It’s neurological process can be described, to be sure, but never explained. It is a great mystery.The pursuit of love validates life, even if you never attain it. To neglect the process of love is to neglect being human, I’ve come to find.
I guess I better start believing in love again.