-Socrates
Welcome to the Paragodox.
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Self-Deprecating Rap
Common rap themes:
-Grandiose Narcissism
-Excessive Material Wealth
-Objectification of Women
-Being “Hard”
-Pride towards hometown
I figured, what if I turned these upside down and instead used their contrasts?
-Ridiculously low self-esteem
-Poverty
-Quixotic treatment of women
-Being a wimp
-Hatred of hometown
…and subsequently wrote a rap about it (utilizing the same stylistic tendencies of hyperbole, vulgar language, and rhyme). Here’s what ensues:
“First Date”
by The Paragodox
I approach the lovely lady outside Chili’s Bar and Grill
Hope I don’t destroy this first date, ya feel?
I stammer, Hey there Miss, how do you do?
Would you like me to open that door for you?
Oops I tripped on my way to the handle…
To a paralyzed klutz boy, I hold a candle
Fuckin’ Mademoiselle, shall I pick up the tab?
Here’s twenty dollars, all that I have
I’m so poor I make my dead bro look rich
Damn, I just dissed him, I’m a fuckin’ snitch
I haven’t had a girlfriend in fifteen years
Probably because every date I break down in tears
She asks me “Yo Parago, what’s the matta’?”
I say, “Pardon miss, my heart’s been shatta’d…”
She tells me to grow some muthafuckin’ balls
Water be flowin’ down my face worse than bathroom stalls
I run to da bafroom, take a look in the mirror
Shit, My clothes be lookin’ worse than a baboon’s rear
Runnin’ back to her I find she done left
I stood there and took a goddamn breath
I smiled at the waitress who returned a glare
I reach into my pocket, nothing was there
Couldn’t leave a tip, so I ran up to da fuckin’ fair lady
Gave a fuckin’ kiss on the hand, got hit harder than Tom Brady
I sighed as I walked out and cursed my sociability
As for tomorrow, masturbation in tranquility
Bitch.
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The Background
The dreams I made still have you in them, because you come swimming into view, and I hang onto your words like I always used to do, the words you used so lightly, I only feel for you, I only know because I carry you around…in the background.
Because I felt you long after we were through.
<3 3EB
Source: pxleyes.com
